April memories

Did I never post photos from Easter? The 3-day weekend together was glorious. It still cheers me up to remember it...on cold, sniffly, sore throat mornings like this one. It wasn't really all that long ago...

 A picnic in a quiet little park on Good Friday. Annika rips up the grass

 Look what I got Mummy! 

Easter Sunday with family

        Chocolate egg hunt.... Sophie made me so proud, helping the littler kids find more eggs...sharing some of hers with them...

And since then, the last time we've had three days home together, even two days...has been with the flus and the colds and the coughs.Annika recovered first, thankfully, which means we're all sleeping much better now. Still, I cannot even find words for how much I am looking forward to:

a) a completely flu-free family

b) the holidays

c) my sister Brittany coming to visit. on the holidays. when nobody will be sick :)

To Loren

May 3, 2011 - the one year anniversary of the loss of my beautiful sister. 

 Loren, I miss you dear sister. I miss your friendship, your compassion, the wisdom and gentleness you carried, even in your youth. I try to be that kind of friend, that kind of listener, like you were to me and  others.
I am thankful that your light and the bright memory of your beautiful smile are still with us. That you are knowing peace and joy in a full way, such as we have not yet known - I am thankful fro that.

I am thankful for your 2 delightful and amazing children. I have many dreams and hopes about buidling memories with your boys as they grow, and that they can grow up knowing my girls too.

I still miss you, and often when I do I write your stories. I write down my memories of you - beautiful memories that make me smile. Memories of your childhood, your motherhood, our friendship as grownups, our big family joys and sibling stories...They are collecting here, in a beautifully bound journal. (It has a soft cloth binding in an earthy beige color, with a subtle white flower design, a wooden button, and very cute little Japanese doll for a bookmark- I think you'd like it! ) You will never be forgotten.

You will continue to be loved, and to inspire love.

"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back...

and until we meet again, my friend, until we meet again

May God Hold You in the Palm of His Hand"

Her imagination

I've heard it's not uncommon for 3 and 4-year-old girls to have imaginary friends. My Sophia always has many imaginary friends, students, children, animals...depending on who she is pretending to be at the time. This week, she has an imaginary husband. and they have 5 children. Apparently his name is Jared, and they live at number 1 Paint street. The story has been building all week. They have dramas, they have excitement, They have emotions and solve problem. Sophie makes them all dinner and teaches them things. Today's episode went something like this:

"Hi there, yes, we should catch up sometime. But right now I have to dance and spin. I can't run or jump or walk, just spin. And I have to teach my students to do ballet dancing. But I only teach them on Sundays. Sundays and Thursdays and Wednesdays, that's when I teach them. But I have to go back in time, to my husband, he's at the hairdresser's, with all the kids. I have to go back there in time so I can see Jared and my kids, cause they're just waiting for me, and they miss me. But next week we're going to ABC street - that's not too far from you're house! So we should catch up again sometime!"

Those are just a few of the bits I can remember. She's still going on... she makes me smile.

And last week, Dan and I are sitting on the couch one evening. We have some of Sophie's favourite music on for her, and she's dancing. We watch with delight (and maybe with just  a few snickers). She spins, she kicks, she does fancy footwork, she wiggles her hips! We are as impressed as parents of a happy, creative 3-and-a-half-year-old should be. I ask her, "Sophie, where do you get all your good ideas for dances? Have you seen some of those dance moves on tv, or at school (daycare)?" She stands still, with one hand on her hip, and the other raised with a pointed finger. Her brow furrows. She has her Take-Me-Seriously face on. "Well," She says, "Jesus gives me dancing. He just sends me dances, because he knows I like dancing, and he likes me SOOO much...he just keeps sending me more dances, and then I dance for Jesus, and it makes me happy!"


So, my heart's desier...one of them: that my children would grow up curious, confident, happy, kind, healthy. Able to accept and recognise healthy love, and able to give it. Eager to create and learn and always wondering, asking questions, thinking what if. I get glimpses of some of those things, setting themselves up in her even now. Those moments are my greatest joys.
She says to me "Mama, I've decided, when I grow up, I don't want to live in America. Cause I don't want to live far away from you and Daddy. I'll miss you when I don't live in your house anymore. But I'll have my own house, and I won't be too far away, and will you come to my wedding?" We daydream together...about how I will definately be there if she has a wedding...and if she has a baby...and how we'll go to movies together and go shopping for shoes together and we'll have cups of tea, and how I'll babysit her kids so she can go on a date with her husband. And she makes me smile.

How easily my daughters can make my heart sing, and ache, all in the same day, in the same moment. Be strong and brave and curious and lovely my daughter. Be safe and careful and healthy and close. And don't grow up too terribly fast.

A Furry Intruder

It was Saturday morning. It seemed like a normal enough, lovely weekend day to me. Dan had left very early for a short morning flight, and I looked forward to taking him out for his birthday later in the afternoon. The girls and I had breakky at the table... nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

It wasn't until Dan got home at about 10am, that I found out there had been a noisy, theiving creature clambouring about our kitchen in the night!
The conversation went something like this:
A: Did you sleep well last night? Did you wake up both times Annika woke up? (Yes, I often ask my husband too many questions to answer at once. It's not meant to be an interrogation. It's more of a - choose your own conversation starter!)
D: Yeah, alright. No, Annika didn't wake me up. But the possum did.
A: what, on the roof?
D: No, in our kitchen! Bangin' around... didn't  you hear it?

I did not.

The moral of the story is, Dad sleeps through baby crying, but is out of bed and on his sleepy feet the moment there's a sound like someone (or something) who doesn't belong in the house. While Mum hears every noise the baby makes, but sleeps desperately through everything else! It's as if my subconscious shouts at me: If we don't have to feed it, it's not worth waking up for!

Apparently, someone had left the laundry window open while the dryer was running , and at that blissful moment of bedtime, had forgotten to shut said window. Thus the window was a doorway through the laundry and into our kitchen, for small and hungry beasts.

It was stealthy, I'll give it that. It took an apple. Nothing else on the table was out of place - and there was a lot, in piles, on the table! There were a lot of apples in the fruit bowl. The little critter couldn't be bothered with the banana or the avocado - too much work! No claw marks in anything else either, just knew exactly what it wanted and sat there in the bowl munching on it. Until Dan came along and chased it away, with the rest of its unfinished treat clenched firmly in teeth. Back out the window.
I laughed :)
Yes, we are much more careful now (again!) to check every window is closed before sleeping.

And on a completely different note - the rest of the day was wonderful. yes, we enjoyed the planetarium very much - nerds that we are! Dan loved it, and though I'm not a very smart nerd when it comes to science, I thouroughly enjoy being awed and amazed by the wonders of our universe, and being made just a little bit dizzy thinking about all the things I don't understand. But most of all, it was just wonderful to be on a date- hand in hand, chatting and whispering and laughing....just like the young kids in love we were 10 years ago...only completely different.

Ponies and pretty girls

Last weekend, Sophie went to a friends' birthday party, where she got to ride ponies. She was a bit nervous at first, but overcame her fear. She was brave and made new pony friends. Happy day :)

 This pony is Louise. Sophie wanted to ride her first - she was smaller. Turns out she was also quick and a bit feisty. Sophie wanted a go on the bigger pony the next time around.

This pony is Cuddles. Sophie fell in love with cuddles. She even wanted to feed her carrots and apples after the ride (but, she ended up needing some extra help and encouragement for that!)

 Annkia enjoyed the day too!

Blogging again!

Good morning. I am back.
For me, we are coming up to the new year. This year, January first just didn't really do it for me. It was just another day. Time has split itself for me, into before and after 30 April 2010. It's a sad reason to have your whole sense of life and time rearranged so absolutely, and really, I don't mean for my first blog back to be a complete downer. So I'll try to pick it up soon! But just so you can orient yourself to my life, this is where I am - at the end of the year when my sister died. In May, it will be a new year for my family, in a way. Year 2. So in a way, I take a deep breath, and I hope for better. I try to be better. I decide to breathe and grow, and to write, more.

This morning my 2 beautiful daughters are fast asleep at 7:30, and so is my dear husband. It's Friday - it's a daddy day. Very soon, they will be having a bleary-eyed breakfast together, and I will be rushing off to work. Equally as bleary-eyed.
Annika is nearly 8 months old. Though it's so hard to believe that, or even to see it. Adjusted age, she is 6 and 1/2 months old, and that is how I think of her. She sleeps 5 hours at the most before waking to need a feed. Is this right? This can't be right! Somenight she needs to learn to sleep longer than that, surely? The articles I've read say... oh wait, right, she doesn't read those. She does her own thing.
There's so much more to say.... and I will try to say it.

I want to write about my kids - their language! All the wonderful things they say! All the ways they learn. If you know me at all, you know I am passionate about language, and about education, so I want to tell you stories about how that happens in my home. I'm so curious about how it happens everywhere.
I want to write about food. About what I cook, and learn. I cook gluten free dinners, and I do it nearly every night, and most nights, I really enjoy it. I am also (to quote my beloved sister Brittany) a foodie at heart.
I want to write about the things I enjoy reading, watching, and listening to...to explore those things that still bring me joy, as my own person. Do you ever feel like you lose yourself, being a mom? I have been getting a little lost lately! Here's to exploring just where I might be found. Oh yes, and there's also that - the spiritual journey. I might want to write about the ups and downs of that. We'll see.

And now I've just about finished my cuppa - down to the very last little bit of cold tea left in the bottom. Which means it's time to rush about and get to work now. :)

Conversations with Sophie

Lately talking to Sophie is more and more like talking to a 3-year-old. Conversations and monologues can be... confusing, imaginative, thought-provoking, and hilarious! I'm not sure if I'm ready for this yet, but here we go! She is my delight.

Tonight...
Sophie - Dad, will you marry me?
Dan - Sophie I can't marry you, I'm already married to Mama.
S - Oh, but you love me.
D - Yes, I love you very much, but I'm not going to marry you. I'm just married to Mama.
S - (*sigh*) I guess I'll marry Mama then.
Alicia - Sophie, people don't marry their Mummies & Daddies. Mummy is just your Mummy and I love you, and Daddy is just your daddy and he loves you.
S - Oh, ok. (Thinks about this) Daddy is married to Mama...
D - Yes..
S -... and Jeremy is married to Bec...
D - That's right!
S -... but Sophie and Ryan are not married yet!!

Sometimes, Dan and I just have to try so hard not to laugh!
and I wonder if maybe she's been watching too much Cinderella, a little too early?!

There have been a lot of golden moments lately... oh, here's a great one!
After picking Sophie up from daycare one day,
A- Sophie, your teacher said you went to the toilet 3 times today! You're becoming such a big girl and I'm so proud of you! You must be proud of you too.
S - Yes! (Thinks awhile?) Mama, did you go to the toilet at school today too? I'm so PROUD of you Mama! Good job!

Or here was the conversatoin/ story we got after dinner tonight, as bedtime was fast approaching...

A - Sophie, it's time to start getting ready for bed. Do you want to drink your milk now, or go to the toilet first?
S - No, Mama. Tonight, I'm gonna put to you to bed. You get in your bed and I tell you a story, ok? Then I give you a kiss and I close the door and I go talk to to Daddy on the couch, ok? Then I go to bed later, when I'm reee (really) tired.

And to that I just think, yeah, fat chance kid, keep dreaming! But of course, I don't say it like that!

I'll try to think of some more gems for you. These are busy, crazy, beautiful days.
Hugs from all of us,
Alicia, Danny & Sophie

The Dummy Story, and a scary accident

Just to keep you out-of-suspense, Sophie is ok. She is happy and well and has a very exciting story to tell about going to the doctor. She always likes those! Here is evidence - a photo of her last night - looking totally herself, except for that slightly beak-like look to her top lip. Hopefully that's just temporary, with the swelling. I think it'll go away!

Thursday morning, Sophie stacked it. She took a fall, and it didn't look like a terribly bad one at first. She fell off a chair she was sitting on, while trying to climb off and while feeling a bit overtired. She lost her balance and fell flat on her face- onto a concrete floor! The dummy in her mouth at the time (it was just moments from naptime) probably protected her front teeth a bit, but also helped to split her top gum in a long bloody slice. Suddenly there was blood everywhere, and terrifying screaming. At first she refused to drink any water or suck on ice blocks or put anything helpful in her mouth at all. We were pretty scared. But after taking her to her doctor, we finally relaxed a little and started to realise that she was actually ok. Her mouth's healing very quickly, there's no head injury or even bruising, even the one slightly wobbly tooth looks like it will right itself. She didn't get much of a nap that day, what with rushing off to the doctor, but she did get to eat mostly frozen yoghurt bars (“ice cream!”) - for lunch and dinner yesterday, so she was a pretty happy little girl. I am so so thankful that it’s not as bad as it could have been. :)

Also, it looks like we're going to come out of this little adventure dummy - free. We've been thinking about how to make that transition for awhile, and now the answer has just arrived, with no room for argument. Sophie couldn't have a dummy at all on the day of her fall - as it could have disturbed the gash in her mouth and made her bleed more, and also could mess with that delicate tooth. It really stressed her out for awhile not to have it while she was scared, and when she was trying to fall asleep - the only times she really uses it. So that was hard. Getting her to sleep without iton that first night took...longer than I want to calculate! But she finally did fall asleep, and she's slept soundly all through the night. Nap times since have been a bit hit-and-miss… it’s like she has to learn how to fall asleep all over again. But over all she’s getting enough sleep, and we’re all really happy at the success she’s having letting go of a security she’s had for over 2 years now.

We made a bit of a big deal out of saying goodbye to the dummies;  here's how we did it  - We took her to Target and let her pick out a present - a "big girl" present. She chose a big cuddly Elmo, and an Elmo-in-a-Submarine wind-up bath toy. (Cheap,but a BIG hit! Best 7 dollars ever spent!). Then we went home, rounded up all the dummies we could find in the house, and she threw them away in the bin herself, saying “bye-bye” to them. She understood that it was because the doctor said she can't have them and because she's a big girl now and doesn't need them. She was all for the idea, and loved the whole trading them for new toys, which we got to open after the bin ceremony.

Still, actually following through on the change, and not falling back on the reliable dummy in those two-year-old meltdown-moments – that’s a bit hard…for her and me too. Last night I found a surviving dummy in my handbag – the one that got away! I hung onto it…just in case! We were out in the city with friends, and it was a fun and happy night, but got long and late for her at the end. By about 9:00 she was over-tired and was absolutely over it. Just chucked a wobbly, as the Aussies so cleverly say! It was all I could do not to reach into my bag, resurrect the dummy, and calm her instantly.

Ahh…the temptation! The only thing that kept me from it was thinking about her poor little mouth, and how easily the wound could re-open (it’ already done it a few short times in the past few days, for no particular reason) and how much worse things would get if she started bleeding and feeling pain again.

So that's what it took for us to stop "using" - a traumatic injury. I’d better get rid of that one surviving dummy in my bag, before Sophie fully heals and we can backslide! Here's to moving on...to growing up...to healing and learning and getting over it!

Things we are learning

Good morning! Sophie and I take a break from housecleaning... She to ponder and sort her colouring crayons (she names them and then tells them what to do - "g(r)een, get in there. This boo (blue), you stay dere..."), and me to ponder...well life. And photos. And Sophie.

Things Sophie is learning:
How to sing "Happy Birthday to you."

How to build sandcastles. No, not really, more like -how to direct the building of sandcastles and then smash them!

How to swim underwater (in the pool - she's back in swimming lessons on Wednesdays.)
How to share and parallell play happily with other children (she does this pretty well!), and not to boss them around (she's still got a ways to go on this)


What else? Sophie's learning to recite and sing nursery rhymes. Snippets of them are occasionally understandable, as she tells them to her dolls. It is beautiful, but I have yet to successfully get it on video. Some of my favourites are when she improvises the bits that she forgot. For example:

"Rain, rain, go away,
come back next week."

and also..

"Jack and Jill go up a hill...uh..water,
Jack fall down and bump his head! Owww! poor Jack!"

She's learning to make up her own songs too. In the car on the way to church tonight she was singing a song that sounded like the tune to the abc song, but went something like..."...asher....chloe...austin...all my friends and ALL my friends...next time you sing wa (with) me!"

She is learning about plants and how to water them. (No, we don't pull the flowers off of bushes, yes Mama can pull the leaves off our herbs, but not Sophie. Yes, please help mama water the plants in the pot. No, please don't play in the potting mix with your fingers.) Ah the confusing world of the toddler! At least she's happy enough taking several trips back and forth to the plants, watering them with each different coloured tupperware cup in her cupboard.

Sophie is learning how to clean up messes she has made, comfort friends who are sad, and tell stories about things that have happened to her. "I touch pan - hot. I got docka (doctor). Man help me." She's also learning (I hope) to assess the consequences of choices she's made, so she can make better choices in the future. "Sophie, are you going to touch hot things again?" - "No!" (I am such an optomist!)

She is learning to describe her likes and dislikes, and ask for what she wants in more precise language. For example, today, while I was in the kitchen working on dinner: "Mama, I want cheese? P(l)ease?" So I offered her some of the cheese I had just shredded. "No, I want cheese, cutting." "Oh, you want a slice of cheese?" "Yes please." This is a nice example, with plenty of good manners. There are other ones too of course - "I don't like it. I don't want it. Too little/stinky/yucky."


Things I am learning:
I am learning that Sophie is fearless about the ocean at the moment. She loves to run into it, and she loves to fall down. She needs to be watched like a hawk, every second that she is on the beach. And I have also learned that the beach is probably her favourite place in the world - besides Papa and Gramma's house in the snow!

I am learning how to do digital photo manipulation, with a program that's much simpler than photo-shop, called paint.net. It's fun. It's a fun, very slow learning. This one has the oil painting effect. Can you tell? Yeah, I'm not so sure either.

I'm learning that Sophie is developing a strong will of her own..."No, I don't want to nap. No sleepy." Oh dear!
This is the sweet little girl of mine who loves bedtime. Routines really do the trick for her...usually. She loves her cuddles in the rocking chair, reading a few stories together (sometimes more than a few), our regular poem before the lights go out (adorable sappy stuff -"It's time to sleep little bee, little bee, yes I love you, and you love me..." See Mem Fox's book - Time for bed.) All this usually gets her all relaxed and reaching for the pillow. Her eyes are shut or she's mumbling "loz you mama" (that's love) through her dummy as I quietly close the door. Then she sleeps. It's bliss. This is the same little girl who's been going to sleep in this same routine with such surprisingly little drama for so long, that even when we would have guests over and we put her to bed, they would always comment, "That's it? That's all it takes? Is she asleep?" And we were so proud and pleased.
Ah, but now, it's a different story. It's as unpredictable as a Minnesotan April. On the days she decides she doesn't want to go to sleep-for nap or bedtime...well it's a mess. I try many different tricks...sometimes some of them work and sometimes not. So I am learning how to be patient again at her bedtime. How to help her re-learn how to settle into sleep. How to not let it get to me the 10th time she opens the door and comes to find me. How to stay calm. And I wonder, can I get faster at this...can I speed her through the process? Or will it sometimes just take her 40 minutes to decide she wants to go to sleep? Maybe I have to just let it take the time it takes. This is one of those things that's not an easy answer for me. I want to be a patient mother...teaching and modelling the best behaviour... not losing my cool or shouting. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes not. I pray for more patience with my little one as she stretches her wings, pushes on those boundaries, tests out her independence. And I pray for patience with myself too.

Maybe soon, we'll move on to toilet training. Stay tuned for that exciting chapter!


New experiences and friends:
Sophie had a new experience yesterday - we took a train with a friend into the city. That was good fun! Here are Sophie and Asher on the train. this is a very brief moment they were both sitting down. As Debbie mentions in her blog, their favourite thing was standing up weaving around as the train wobbled. I think they liked trying to keep their own balance, which of course, was tricky. but when they agreed to hold on to something, it was pretty cute!

In the city of Brisbane, unfortunately there is no Children's Museum like the one we miss so much in St. Paul. There is, however, a fun & educational pocket of the city with a surprising mix of fun things to do. The State Library has a room dedicated to kids activities- fun and learning and free! Wasn't hard to convince me! Sophie's was mesmorized by the guitar player- she watched and danced and tried to sing along...I cannot resist video recording it. I'm sure it won't be half as exciting to anyone else as it is to her mother, but humour me if you like!

Sophia turns Two!

Hello friends and family! Last Sunday, as you may know, we celebrated Sophie’s 2^nd birthday -which is actually today, but we didn't make a big deal about today. This week Dan is flying in the Outback, and today he visited Uluru, or Ayers rock (the big red monolith in the middle of the country - famous postcard stuff.) So we had the party early. It was a small-ish party at home. Sophie had a blast! For weeks leading up to the party, she could name for you every person who was coming, and now everyday afterwards she tells me something that happened on the day. When I asked her that night what her favourite thing about her birthday party was, she answered without hesitation – “Cake! Elmo cake!” She loved the part where everybody…. “Sing Happy Day Soshie!” She also remembers playing outside, running, making cookies (just with play dough), colouring, balls, balloons, pizza, strawberries, and of course, everyone who came. She also likes to talk about Papa and Grama their gift and card and phone call – oh, and the other day she got Noah’s card and she loves to read that. (She tells stories about the photo of Noah, Aaron and the other “Soshie” too.)

Here are some photos to help tell the stories (Most are taken by Dominika). Enjoy!

First gift- from Dom & Dom & family. A realistic baby doll, complete with a dummy, a potty, a nappy and a change of clothes. You can turn her on and she tells you what she needs. Sophie calls her Missy, and really loves to play with her!

Nana and Grandy arrived with many gifts – Here you can see Nana giving Sophie the bandaids featuring Pooh Bear and Barbie. One of those went on straightaway - suddenly she had an “owie” on her hand. (Play Spot-the-bandaids in upcoming photos.) This baking set got played with right away. The kids set to work using all the tools to make cookies and cakes out of play dough.

This kept them happy for ages: the highly-technical toddler art of breaking a piece of play-dough into several tiny pieces, throwing them onto a tray and calling them “cookies.”

Who will be...the next MasterChef Australia?!

Oskar

Sophia

Sebastian (Bo-Bo)

Zuzia and Olivia (Livi)

At the moment, Sophie calls her "Baby Lizzie." They adore each other! Sophie kisses her on the head, tells her stories and makes up songs about her. Livi gets so excited when she sees Sophie that sometimes she just screams and squeels at the top of her very strong lungs!
She also does an excellent serious face.

Brothers.

The gift from baby Livi and co. ABC puzzles (Or "ADC's" as Sophie calls them!) At this stage, they're great fun to empty out all over the floor, name the pictures like flash cards and put them back in the box. Good times!

Just a few of the birthday cards. She loves the princesses from Papa and Grandma! She likes to talk about all of the dresses and who likes which dress best! But the cards didn't actually last up there very long. As you can see, they are fascnating reading material! They then get marched around the hous and discarded somewhere on a floor :)

Gift from Great Nanna and Great Granddad ("Big Nanna and Big Grandy") - a gorgeous waterbabies doll. She calls her Gracie, and she loves to walk her around in her new doll stroller (from Nanna and Granddad), and feed the baby milk. She also loves to give directions, and at the party she happily insisted that Sebastian sit beside her on the couch while she opened a few gifts. "Bobo sit here!"

Bubbles! All together now...

Bec and Jeremy and Ryan are here! Let's open this box, since the present is trying to escape. We'll go over there and open it. Sophie takes charge - "Comeon Mama! This way!" This is one of her favourite phrases these days.

PUPPETS! These are awesome - a whole collection of hand and finger puppet animals - including a moose! I don’t know who enjoys them more – me, Dan, or Sophie.
All the kids had a play.

After playing outside, we went back in for food.
(Dan was an incredible help in the kitchen all this time!)

Ok, I got a bit silly and took some photos of the food. I just love Strawberries in the winter here! I had fun prepping the fruit before guests arrived and snapped these shots. I'm such a wannabe foodie!

The cake! Just a simple box mix – tasty, and none leftover. The best part for Sophie was the topper toys. She likes to name all the instruments and pretend to play them. Oh – did you notice the bandaids? Yeah, they were a big hit!

We didn’t get the actual blowing out of the candles on camera, she was too quick! But she did wait until we finished singing to her. She loved that! It’s one of her favourite parts that she likes to tell me about: “People sing happy day me!”

That’s pizza above her eyebrow. I think she was trying to talk with her hands while eating. Imagine that!

We ate on the floor - picnic style.

There was a LOT of excited toddler squealing.

Artwork …a nice calming end to things.

A cheeky smile for the camera, from a sweet and happy two-year-old.